Letting Go

“A new year, a new me.”

Well that’s what they all say, but who really changes? The thing is, as the new year progresses, there often come a lot of changes.

I remember about this time last year I was freaking out because it was 2014, and 2014 was the year I was going to graduate high school. That really freaked me out: change. However, 2014 turned out to be filled with more changes than just the fact that I gradated. It really turned out to be a great year.

2014 was the year:

  • I was trying to rebuild my sense of self after a hard break up.
  • I gained many new friends.
  • I also lost a majority of those close friendships after I left for college.
  • I was in a musical, where I met a group of all new friends.
  • I created countless memories with that group of people before I left town for college.
  • I gained a better sense of myself and who I am, while leaving behind the insecurities and mistakes that had plagued me.
  • I started a relationship with someone that I genuinely cared about.
  • I grew in my relationship with my church, family, and God.
  • I started all over at OSU.
  • I met new people, some that I can say are my best friends.
  • I ended up losing him not only as a boyfriend but also as a friend.
  • I cried.
  • I moved on.
  • I finished my first semester.
  • I reconnected with people that I hadn’t talked to in years.
  • I learned so much.

Honestly, I loved 2014.

But the thing about a new year and a new slate is having to let all of those memories go. And that scares me. You would think that letting go of all the bad memories would be a relief, but some how I don’t want to let those go either. It may be because I learned specifics lessons from each of them and grew because of hardships I went through. Or it also may be that some part of me enjoys wallowing in the self pity that these memories bring. It may most likely be the latter. I also don’t want to let go of all the amazing memories I shared in 2014. Memories that I shared with people that I also struggle with leaving in 2014.

Regardless, New Years is always a bit of a depressing time for me. But something I am learning to embrace is change. And change comes with letting go and moving on. This year I have made it one of my resolutions to make this year memorable. I have also made it a resolution to let go of things when it’s their time to go.

And speaking of resolutions, here is a list of all of mine.

  1. Let go of anything that is no longer healthy, happy, or helpful.
  2. Find a bit of happiness in every day.
  3. Take more pictures.
  4. Become more regular with my blog posts.
  5. Last, but not least, watch all of Friends (which to be honest won’t take very long since I’m already on Season 7…no shame)

Hope everyone makes 2015 a year to remember!

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